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negative influences

How to Be Whole – Maybe We’re Looking in the Wrong Places

A recent TV ad I saw claimed that 20,000 people a DAY join the online dating service, Match.com.  20,000 people a day…is that not staggering?  Does the figure surprise you?  It sure blew me away.  20,000 people a day…starving for love so badly that would head towards online dating.  

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I don’t believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with online dating.  And, if you found your spouse through the Internet, more power to you.  But, I would wager a guess that online dating isn’t the method of first attempt.  I mean, usually, we seek out partners through offline social interaction first before heading to the Internet.  So, 20,000 people a day have become frustrated enough to go online in search of love…despite the perils of online anonymity.

Could it be that our society seeks love in “all the wrong places?” (to quote an old country music song)  I would challenge that you first must love yourself before heading offline or online in search of love.  You must be a whole person before you can give part of yourself to another.  How do you get there?  It isn’t an overnight process, but I’m glad to be able to give out a couple of starting tips:

  1. Get Rid of Negative Influences – When I’ve spoken at schools before, I always make it a point to tell my student audiences that they must rid themselves of people who drag them down.  If you have friends, co-workers, parents, family, etc, who are constantly putting you down and telling you how worthless you are, you MUST get rid of that influence in your life.  I suggest confronting that person and explaining to them how much their words hurt.  If they don’t listen, you must find a way to diminish their influence on you.  If it is a friend, break off the friendship.  If it is a co-worker, go to the boss or HR and explain the situation.  I hope it isn’t a parent, but if it is, try and get other family members to confront the offender with you.  In order to feel better about yourself, you have to surround yourself with positive people.
  2. Smile, Constantly – What I’m suggesting here as a way to combat unhappiness is to smile for no reason.  Put aside ulterior motives of trying to get a favor from someone, or trying to get something for nothing and just smile.  Your smile can literally change someone’s day.  In the process of changing someone else’s day, you can easily change your own attitude.  Smile as if the world depends on it…because it does!

Start slow…begin to focus on changing, make little daily changes in your attitude, behavior, and your actions.  Pretty soon, you’ll realize that living a happy, fulfilled life is the only true way to live.  My new book goes into great detail on this subject, and I’ll be announcing, here, when it is ready to be ordered.  Watch this space in the next week or two for further details and remember, SMILE!