I spoke this morning at Carroll Middle School in the Southlake-Carroll School District here in the Dallas / Fort Worth area. One of my main topics this morning was a message to bullies, to those being bullied, and to those who could do something about it. The video link at the end of this post is from a bullying report on HLN. The child being bullied appealed to school officials, and NOTHING was done. Inaction by authority figures closest to the student resulted in a more volitale situation. It makes me sick that so-called teachers and administrators would tell this child it was all in his head.
You know why I believe the child in the video? Because the same thing happened to me in 8th grade.
There was a fellow student in my class who made my life miserable. I hated going to school, and hated even seeing his face. One day, I came to the teacher of the class that the bully and I were in. I told her all of my hurt feelings that the bully had caused. I had never told anyone about my pain before. Her response, “it’s all in your head.” That night, I can remember lying in bed believing that if my appeal to an adult who was closest to the situation didn’t help, that I’d be better off not waking up in the morning. I had never felt more alone and worthless than that day.
There is a good epilogue to this story. The bully was invited to a church retreat when I was a Junior in high school. He approached me one morning to apologize, as he said in his own words, “Jesus is Lord of my life, now, and he would never have done the awful things to you that I did.” While the epilogue is good, the events that transpired in that 8th grade class could have been avoided. That teacher completely failed me and failed in her profession that day by dismissing my pain. She could have easily gotten an administrator involved, but she didn’t. (To be honest, she was a lousy educator, too, but that is a different story.)
I’m glad that the Dragons (students) of Carroll Middle School have the support that I didn’t have. I believe that the administration and teachers’ committment to a positive school enviornment would never allow what I went through to occur. Everyone near a child must understand…feelings are facts. If a child says he or she is the target of a bully, you MUST do something. Kids aren’t killing themselves simply from being bullied. They are killing themselves because they feel like no one cares, and nothing will ever be done to make the pain stop.
Check out this video from HLN of a father (and family) who tried to help, and what occurs when a school administration doesn’t do a thing about bullying. I applaud the efforts of the entire Southlake-Carroll School District, as I believe this would never occur the same way it did in this video below:
This past Thursday, we traveled to Luverne, MN, to speak to the community of Luverne at a fundraiser for the Palace Theatre. Now, I’ve never been this far north…especially in January. I was not ready for the brutal reality of what it means for the temperature to be “below zero.” Wow, if that won’t wake you up, nothing will. The Palace Theatre in Luverne is an historic location, built in 1915. While the building has been renovated, it still has that classic theatre feel, and I loved getting to speak there. I particularly enjoyed seeing my name up on the old-style marquee out front complete with flashing lights. While I had never spoken for a “community event” before, I can tell you that the crowd that gathered last Thursday night was ready to laugh. It was an incredible evening and it was perfect…well, nearly perfect.
On Tuesday, it was time to get to work. I was invited to be on a panel for students with disabilities, even though it has several years since I was a student. I really enjoyed being on the panel and hearing perspectives from other panel members on what life was like living with their particular disability. I was not even aware of some of the disabilities shared on that panel, and found the afternoon very educational for all involved. I especially appreciated the positive attitude found in the entire room. So often, when disabilities are discussed in any setting, it can be a very negative and/or condescending experience. This was not the case at UNK, and I am glad to have been a part of such an educational experience.
Last week, I was invited to give an inservice program in Shirley, AR to the Shirley ISD teachers and administrators about how they could have a truly happy, successful year. My dad was with me for this one, and we spoke on what school was like for me growing up and how much it meant for me to be included in the classroom…instead of being secluded due to my handicap.
In Shirley, AR, we presented the story of my life, and showed why inclusion of those with special needs is so important. We played a game where the teachers were challenged to include a group member who was experiencing a mental challenge and couldn’t participate like the rest of the group. For this in-service program, I wanted to help teach how these educators can open their eyes to making sure every child and parent feels accepted. We had a fantastic morning, and are still hearing from teachers in Shirley, AR, about how wonderful the in-service program was, and how much they are now looking forward to this new school year.
